Sigrid

I am currently on Erasmus in Vilnius, Lithuania. I don’t think it’s specific for Lithuania, that there is a special hook-up culture among Erasmus students, but it’s certainly out in the open here. There is this one specific club called Salento which is guaranteed to be full of foreigners. It is quite common to have to fight off guys who try to “steal” you from your friends. It is apparently not accepted for a group of girls to dance without the interruption of at least a few guys. Last week when I went there it was one of my friend’s last night here, so we were determined to just be “us girls” (we are a group which has grown quite close, so it was a very emotional evening). I am dancing with my girls, when I see one of them doing our secret hand sign for “save me” (you would think that shouldn’t be necessary) as a guy is all over her. I pull her towards me, but that only causes the guy to go for me. I tell him that I just want to dance with my friends, but he starts getting touchy, so I push him away and tell him to leave us alone. He doesn’t stop, but instead feels that he has the right to tell me: “you came to this club, so you should accept it”. I was lost for words. In my anger and despair I managed to push him away from us (and he stayed away), but I am still amazed that a guy would actually believe that he has the right to harass me, because I went out dancing with my girlfriends.

Amy

One of my friends came to me clearly upset yesterday. She had offered a ride home from school to a male friend who lived the opposite direction as her. When they went to her car to get in. He says “oh” and then “I don’t know many other women who can drive manual” as if it’s an impossible feat. Then he continues the whole way to question her knowledge of how to drive her own car as if concerned for his safety! I later told her she should have responded with “I don’t know many men who can drive manual transmission”lol (American cars tend to be automatic transmission)

DT

I’m one year older than my cousin but he gets treated more like an adult and I’m treated like I’m 15. I’m 20 years old about to be a junior in college with good grades and an amazing boyfriend who treats me with respect and knows that I’m a strong woman. I graduated from high school in 2017 with a 3.3 gpa with no finals because I passed all of my classes. I had my party after graduation and it was fun. The next day I was invited to a graduation party that was 90s theme and I was very excited cause I was 18 and I wanted to go party and the girl parents were there so nothing bad was going to happen or drinking but my mom told me no cause my cousin is here and I’m like it’s my time to shine but I had to be considerate for him and my other cousin. Fast forward to 2018 to his graduation and off he went to a graduation party without being considerate for me or family plus the party had drinking. I feel like I have to stay and entertain him and he gets to ditch me for friends. I tried talking to my parents but they don’t want to listen and hear the truth and they tell me it’s in the past but it really makes me upset and it’s unfair cause I feel like they’re protecting him. Today as a 20 year old I still get questioned about where I’m going but for him it’s okay and he’s gone in 5 seconds answering to no one

Katherina

Hi I am 17 years old from Athens, Greece. Sexism is something that I don’t think any girl/woman has not experienced. I have had multiple conversations with male friends who said stuff like “feminism is not needed anymore” or “there is no such thing as gender inequality nowadays”. And when I make them aware of how wrong they are, the answer is always something like “yeah that’s true, but only in ‘third world countries'(side note: I hate that expression), I meant like in Europe”. That is usually the point when I start: In Greece we have never had a female president, or even a from the public recognized female candidate in the run. Also, in this country the christian orthodox church still has so much power and is extremely involved in politics (another issue,don’t get me started…). In the orthodox church women are not allowed to become priests. Furthermore, there is a place in Greece “Άγιον Όρος”, that is so holy no woman is allowed to place foot in there. And these are just some facts, I am not even talking about my own experience. To just lightly touch on how much us girls/women experience, I would just like to say that my girlfriends and I have played a “game” of ‘places we have been cat-called’. By the end of it we had about 87 places and just got tired of counting. Just because women in Europe, since people love to use it as an example, are not chained to the kitchen does not mean there is no sexism.

Lavinia

I’ve had a fear of public transport and small spaces for around six years following a sexual assault in nightclub when I was 18 years old. The guy came up to me at the bar when I was with a male friend and asked if I wanted to buy a drink. We shrugged him off and carried on with our night. Later on in the evening I was waiting outside the toilets for my friend on my phone with no idea I was being watched. I was then strangled against the wall out of nowhere as this guy forced himself on me trying to kiss me. It all feels a bit of a blur but luckily my male friend came out of the toilet and saw what was happening and threw him on the floor. I have countless other stories from the age of twelve when I first realised men saw me in a sexual way after an older teenage guy pinching my bum in the pool to being a fifteen year old in school uniform and an older builder (50/60) making comments as I walked passed. I’ve been made to feel uncomfortable countless times on the tube as well. Public transport is essential for my job in London but it’s always half an hour of pure panic. I pick where I’m sitting strategically and move if I start to feel strange. I’ve had therapy and things have got better but I’ve found the recent news about Sarah Everard and Sabina really hard and I feel really angry and triggered. . Last week I was out with two female friends in a bar and groups of men wouldn’t leave us alone. It was as if we weren’t allowed to just enjoy our night and conversations without someone interrupting. These two older guys were sat by us for an hour or so and by this point I was really drunk. Next thing I know I was outside the bar sobbing to my friend as I panicked and I think one of them touched my leg but I’m not 100% sure the whole thing feels a blur. My friend says she thinks I’m sensitive due to what’s happened to me before which is probably true but I’m really tired of this being a constant part of my life. I feel concerned nothing happened and I made a fuss but this is the issue when you are drinking and can’t remember. But Id been sat there for hours fine and then suddenly panic? Which just makes me think I’m acting in a conditioned way ‘don’t make a fuss’. Whenever I speak about this issue women face people say but what about all the men which are terrified to lose their jobs or to make a move incase they get accused of something. That issue seems minuscule in comparison because if you’re a decent man you wouldn’t make someone feel uncomfortable. Every woman I know has has multiple experiences so it’s ENOUGH men behaving in this way for most women to know they need to send the ‘are you home texts’ or make pretend phone calls when walking back at night. Men are the ones that need to stick up against these issues and then I think things would start to change. Instead of it coming with shame and embarrassment.

Anon

The first real experience I can remember was when I was 12 years old. I was at a family party where distant relatives were also present. My dad’s uncle sat down next to me with another older man whom I did not know. Every so often, they put their hands on me and started rubbing. They also both made inappropriate jokes. I know I didn’t feel comfortable at the time and I knew immediately that what they were doing was not okay. I then looked at my mum who was then standing a few metres away together with the wife of my dad’s uncle, my grandmother’s sister. They were both watching us and knew perfectly well what was happening, but nobody said anything. A few years later, my mum started talking about it. She said she knew it wasn’t appropriate and that she wanted to intervene but she didn’t dare. I told her that she should have, that I felt very uncomfortable and that what those men did was really inappropriate. With one of my exes, sex was very painful (he did not respected my body). At first, I said this to him but he started using it against me and saying things like (manipulating): “You never want to have sex with me” “Is this another excuse for not having to have sex?” “Am I still doing something good for you?” “You think I’m bad at sex”. I then kept silent when it hurt because I didn’t wanted to lose him. I’ve had sex a few times that I started crying from the pain. One time I said something about it. I said that I was in pain. He asked where. And I said, “My belly, probably my bowels from you pushing so much.” He laughed and shook his head: “Your bowels… that’s impossible.” And he just carried on. Look, he was not a bad boy. I don’t want to defend him (not at all) because what he did was really not okay. I just want to say that the world should not always think that someone has to be thoroughly bad to do this. It made me realise that the upbringing of men and women is really not okay. We make women afraid and responsible for men’s actions and men know that they are hardly held responsible. This can be seen in almost every man. And most of them do not even know that they are being manipulative, sexually abusive or doing anything to disrespect women. They have grown up this way because society never taught them this. That is what should change… our way of thinking and acting, all of us.

maria

A person i knew from school put his hand between my butt cheeks and it was awful. i felt so violated man.

sarah

a few weeks ago i was at the mall walking into the foodcourt and it was so crowded i barely could see my friend and while we were struggling to get to the resturant we wanted i felt like someone littrally GRABBING my butt. i first didnt know who it was because of how crowded it was but then i looked at this dude with a look that was sort of like “who the fuck was that” and he straight away said “I’m sorry, it was an accident” i honestly didnt know what to say nor do.. my friend then started yelling at him untill he ran, littrally. – From Bahrain

Polish

Hi, I’m from Poland, I live in a big city and I’m 29. I am an adjunct on one of the best universities in Poland and every day, I can observe / hear outrageous comments my “colleagues” from work give to female students. An example – first classess this year, a professor explains how can a student pass the course (in Poland grades range from 2 (worst) to 5, if you get 3, you pass but it’s the worst “passing” grade you can get), quote: “normally, by the end of the course, I’m giving 5 to boys and 3 to girls but the girls have to work hard for it”.

Alya

Once I was walking in a crowded area and I felt a hand between my butt cheeks, so I looked behind me and I found a middle aged man grinning widely. I did not know how to react, as I was only 11. P.S we need this in Egypt, please!